The Middle Child
by Polaroidal.Pen
Summary: Miku Nakano was the washout in her family. So she works to change. She works to better herself. But sometimes, she confuses the idea of improving with the idea of not being herself. People are always a working progress. And Miku? She was working through her disaster. With the help of her family, that is.
1. Chapter 1

The Middle Child

Chapter 1

Miku woke up to the sounds of silence, opening her eyes to see the dullness that was her room. Unlike the rest of her sisters, the lack of accessories, posters, or color made it bland- empty even. She wasn't sleepy, but she didn't feel refreshed either. She wanted to go back to sleep and forget the day that was ahead of her. She looked at her clock to check the time; she woke up a minute before her alarm went off. Miku mindlessly stared and felt herself shiver. She wrapped herself with her blanket but that didn't help. With only her body as the source of heat, nothing was enough to keep her warm.

After a minute gone by, the sound of the alarm clock stabbed through her ears, as if it was demanding her to get up and go through her day. Again, she mindlessly sat there. Her skin felt the sharp thorns of the cold and her blanket was doing her no justice. Miku hugged her knees, allowing the chills to crawl down her spine and her ears to bleed from the noise. She didn't mind, they were drowning out her own thoughts.

Eventually, she knew that she had to get up and dress for school. Tomorrow would be a Saturday, so all she had to do was survive today. All she had to do was survive.

Miku grudgingly got up and slapped the banshee to mute. And just like that, silence filled the room again. She looked out her window and frowned. Murky, gray clouds loomed over the city. Was it going to rain? Was it going to snow?

"Where did the sun go?" she mused. Miku sighed as she went to her closet and slithered her arm into her school uniform. Right arm. Left arm. She didn't make sluggish movements because she was tired but she just couldn't get herself to be excited for the day. Had it been Yotsuba, she would have bolted out the door with a smile. And as unfortunate as it was, Miku was not Yotsuba.

Miku finally managed to get herself dressed in her school uniform. It was the same as always: a bland, blue sweater with black tights. She looked at the standing mirror in her room and unintentionally found herself glaring at the image.

"So much for being identical."

It was a known fact that Miku was part of the Nakano Quintuplets. It was also a known fact that the Nakano Quintuplets were all attractive. Well, supposed to be. The lifeless look in her eyes seemed to have said otherwise. She swirled her hair around, making sure the bang covered at least some of her facial feature. If they all looked alike, why was Miku the only one who was an eye-sore?

Miku wasn't a girl who normally obsessed about her looks because she never felt like it was something worth to be proud of. She couldn't pull off any accessories, unlike the rest of her sisters. Maybe she should try glasses like Ichika? Her hair tickled as it hovered over her right eye. Would the star pins work, just like it did for Itsuki? She shook her head. She preferred her hair to hide her face. And as obvious at it was with the image in the mirror, Miku was not Ichika, nor was she Itsuki.

Miku realized that she was taking too long to get ready when she heard a yell made downstairs. Breakfast must have been ready. She quickly shut off her lights as she made one last look in the mirror. The dead gaze in her eyes was still there.

"You're late," Nino noted as she saw Miku made her way to the table. She was standing at the kitchen, stirring some eggs on the frying pan. "Everyone is already here, even that lazy Ichika."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

"You're usually one of the first people to get up," Itsuki said. "Are you alright? Did you get enough sleep?"

Miku merely nodded her head as she sat at her chair, unwilling to meet anyone's gaze.

"At least she came in time for me to finish making breakfast," Nino said. "It's not much, but it's the best we got with the food that we have. No complaining- especially you, Itsuki."

"Isn't there more?"

"No," Nino grumbled. "Remind me to buy more food later today because _you_ ate through our refrigerator."

"I was hungry!"

"Aren't you always?"

Miku ignored the bickering and stared at the food given to her. Her nose perked with the delicate smell of olive oil and butter mixed into the eggs. On the sides, the sweet smell of powder sugar played along with the French toast.

Nino said that the breakfast wasn't much, but it was still grand. She was always a great cook. Miku, on the other hand… She founded herself gag at the smell that was still pervasive in her memory. The discrepancy between Miku and Nino was despairing and the breakfast in front of Miku only made her feel worse about it.

She put down her fork, catching Yotsuba's attention.

"Not hungry?"

Miku shook her head. "No, not really. Do you want my portion as well?"

Yotsuba didn't seem so sure. "At least eat the French toast," she reasoned. "They're really good."

Miku offered a smile as she pushed her entire plate to Yotsuba. She then grabbed an apple off the table tray. "I know."

She took a small bite.

"What! No fair, how come Yotsuba gets to have more?"

"Don't worry. I'll share some of mine!"

Miku nibbled on her apple as she watched her sisters try to appease Itsuki. She tried to ignore the stare that Nino was giving her on the side. Maybe she irritated Nino the wrong way? Miku dismissed it as this was neither the first nor will it be the last time: they always fought.

"Hey," Nino said. "Are you alright, Miku? You seem to have-"

"It's almost time for us to go," Miku said as she got up. She pointed towards the clock nailed on the wall across the room. "Otherwise, we'll be late."

"Yikes, she's right! Come on, Nino!"

"But we still have dishes left to do," Nino protested.

"It's alright, I'll do them after we get back from school!"

"You also have a scrimmage later because you said you'll help out with the basketball team. Stop making promises you can't keep, Yotsuba!"

Yotsuba laughed as she ushered everyone else into packing. And soon enough, they walked out the elevator and headed toward the school.

"This sucks," Nino complained. "Why couldn't we get a ride? _The weather is horrible_."

"It's too bad that Ebata-san wasn't available today," Ichika agreed.

The wind roared across the city, sweeping through the buildings to pummel pedestrians. Miku clutched her headphones, feeling naked as her hair furiously blew behind her. Her face was exposed and she wondered what her sisters would see in it. Not taking the chances, she quickly walked ahead of the group. The wind felt coarse across her face. It was cold and wet. It stung and heat flared across her skin as another gust whipped by.

She was relinquishing the harsh air as it eased the feeling in her stomach. She only ate the apple, but she felt her insides churn. Miku dug her finger into her palms. Why was she feeling so uneasy?

All she had to do was go to school. Study. Avoid trouble. And she'll be free for the weekend. She just had to survive school for the day. All she had to do was survive.

After the cycles of dread and self-reassurance, Miku found herself inside the classroom along with the rest of the sisters. She sat at her desk, a couple of rows behind everyone else. She didn't mind. It was something that she preferred. She watched as her sisters interacted with the rest of the class.

There was Ichika, happily chatting with some of the boys that gathered around her. Nino was talking to two girls that Miku couldn't recognize. Itsuki was discussing something with the teacher. She wandered her eyes around, looking for the last sister. She smiled when she heard Yotsuba before she could see her. She was yelling across the room. After watching her sisters, Miku couldn't help but be aware of her disposition at the moment. She felt glued to the chair, unwilling to talk or move.

"What got you so gloomy?"

Miku inhaled a sharp breath and felt a stab at her gut. She turned around to see Fuutarou Uesugi. Her tutor. Her crush.

"What do you mean?"

He frowned. "You seem quiet. Well, more than usual."

Miku shrugged. She rested her head on her palm and stared ahead at the empty chalkboard. "I'm always like this."

"I'm serious. What's-"

"Hey, class-rep. Do you mind helping me out here? I'm handing out the papers we did yesterday and I have no clue who this person is. The name got smudged out."

Miku breathed a sigh of relief as their discussion was interrupted by the student. She made a small smile as she watched Fuutarou grumble a bit, but complying to the student's request. How typical.

"Sure, we'll see if the handwriting is recognizable."

"Well," the student scratched his head. "I feel really bad for not knowing the student's name, but here."

Miku watched as Fuutarou took one glance at the paper. "Oh, it's one of the Nakano sisters."

"I guess we'll have to narrow it down then," the student laughed. "I already gave Itsuki and Nino their paper. Yotsuba got it while she was talking to the teacher. So that leaves Ichika?"

"But Ichika wasn't here yesterday to do the worksheet," Fuutarou said. "See? She's turning it in right now, I'm surprised that she bothered to make up for it. Anyways, that automatically-"

"So who could it be?" The student asked as he stared at the paper. "That's all the sisters, right?"

Miku shouldn't be eavesdropping on conversations she shouldn't hear.

Fuutarou coughed. "No, not really. There's still Miku."

"Who?"

Miku shouldn't have heard that. She should not have heard that at all.

"Um, the fifth sister." Fuutarou was scratching the back of his head. "You know, the one who wears the headphones around her neck?"

The silence between them made Miku nauseous.

"Oh," the student said hesitantly, "I remember now. Damn, I feel really bad about how I forgot she was one of the five si-"

"It's alright!" Fuutarou interjected. "It seems like you still have a lot more work so why don't you leave that one to me? I'll just give it to her."

The student seemed grateful for Fuutarou's assistance as he bashfully handed the paper. Fuutarou turned around hesitantly to see Miku stare down at her desk, unwilling to meet his eyes.

"How much…of it…did you hear?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"So you heard everything."

"Again, I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm so sorry you had to hear that."

"Fuutarou-kun, I told you. I have _no_ idea what you're talking about."

Fuutarou pursed his lips. "Sure thing. Here's the paper. It was on Japanese history, so I know you did well. We'll go over what you guys got wrong later today, alright? Make sure to be there to help your sisters."

"Sure thing."

He handed the paper that was neatly folded to hide the grade. She gingerly took the paper and examined it. Maybe getting a good grade on this assignment would help her feel better after the disaster that had occurred.

He watched her place her eyes on the paper. "How did you do?" he asked hopefully.

"I…failed."

Fuutarou flinched at what she said. "You what?"

"I-" Miku gritted her teeth-"failed. I failed spectacularly."

"How?"

"Do you think there is a reason why I'm stupid?"

"That's not what I- you're the best among the sisters in social studies."

Miku clinched the paper and she was biting her lips inside her mouth. After everything that happened, it was only the morning. It was too early for her to cry. "Maybe the rest of the quizzes and tests I took were a fluke."

"Maybe this was a hard test."

"How did you do then?"

"…I got a perfect score. Miku, don't feel too bad about-"

"It's alright." Miku tried to smile.

"But-"

"Just go, please."

And with it, she shoved down the paper in her bag, trying to drown it into nonexistence. With the voice of the teacher that indicated the start of the class, Miku pleaded for the day to be over already.

She felt pathetic.

_That's because you are._

There was a reason she was the biggest washout of the five.

Miku bit her lips. She was chocking the pencil with her hand. She could see that the teacher was moving his mouth. But she couldn't hear him. She felt her mind move out of her body and be pulled back in, as if someone shoved her consciousness in a cocktail jug and furiously shook it.

What time was it? Focus. Where was she? Focus. What was going on? Focus. Why was she feeling this way? Focus. Who was she? Focus.

Who was she?

Focus. Please.

Who was she? She wasn't Ichika. She wasn't Nino. She wasn't Yotsuba. She wasn't Itsuki.

She was just Miku.

In the world full of possibilities, she was a Miku Nakano.

She felt a wave of nausea crash on her. She forced down the need to vomit. She clutched her pencil harder. She tried to distract herself by looking down at her notes, but she couldn't understand the words. There was a high pitched ring that was drowning out the teacher's voice.

"Nakano, are you alright? You look really pale."

Miku was hoping that the teacher was referring to the other sisters, but the way everyone-_everyone - _was staring at her proved otherwise.

"I…I…" Her vision was playing tricks with her; she felt the ground beneath her spin.

"If you're not feeling well, you should go to the nurse."

"I'm alright, please continue." She managed to choke out her words. The teacher merely shrugged as Miku tried her best to stop her rapid breathing. She deliberately ignored the concerned looks from her sisters and stared down at her journal. She just hoped that the day would be erased from existence. She wished that she would be erased from existence.

The bell rung, signifying the end of school. Somehow, she made it past the day. The weekend was finally here. She would be fine. She would be fi-

"Miku, are you alright?"

She looked up to find Yotsuba with her brows knitted together, leaning over to closely examine Miku. She felt herself flinch when she made eye contact.

"Yeah, I'm alright."

Yotsuba didn't look convinced. But before she could respond back, Miku pointed toward the door.

"Look, the basketball captain is looking for you."

"That can wait. Right now, my priority is-"

Miku waved her hand to catch the captain's attention. She looked over and walked over to the pair with an eager smile.

"Yotsuba, there you are! Come on, our game is about to start."

Yotsuba pouted at Miku as she was dragged out of the classroom. Miku knew that she wasn't going to get away with it but for now, she managed to avoid the talk and that's all that mattered. She shoved her stuff into her bag.

"That's one way to get Yotsuba off your tail."

"What do you want, Ichika?"

"Does one sister need a reason to talk to another?"

"I'm okay," Miku said. "I promise." She grabbed her pair of headphones. She ignored Ichika's protest and headed straight out the exist. She was finally able to leave.

She arrived at their apartment to find emptiness great her. She would often forget how barren her home seemed to be without her family or Fuutarou around. They were gone for the time, probably doing something productive with their lives. She walked upstairs and threw her bag across her room, sliding across the floor. It seemed lonely by itself, but that was alright with Miku. She sat on her bed, unwillingly to move. She forgot to flip the switch, but again, that was alright with Miku. The day was over and that's all that mattered. Some of her sisters were probably at the library, studying with Fuutarou. She was left alone by herself. She was left alone to be Miku.

That was not alright with Miku.

Miku was the biggest washout of the family. She was a disappointment of a sister trying to follow Ichika and Nino's footsteps as well as the disappointment of a sister to be followed by Yotsuba and Itsuki.

Miku was the middle child. The Nakano's middle child was Miku. She was Miku Nakano and that idea was something she would never be happy about. So she sat there, hugging her knees close to her aching chest.

The sounds of silence filled the room, accompanied by the sobs that were silent to the rest of the world.

**Hello! I'm back! Sorry if I've been out. I've been working on my writing voice lately. Anyways...THIS SERIES IS THE BEST. OH MY GOD. **

**At first, I had my doubts, because, you know...it's a harem. BUT THIS IS MY NEW OBSESSION. Geez, this story is amazing. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this story. I already wrote everything, but I just didn't feel like posting the entire story down in one go. I'm going to re-edit some chapters here and there. See yah!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Miku woke up before the day could start without her. She opened her eyes to the sounds of the rain that made small, continuous knocks on the window. A flash ran across her vision and was shortly followed by a rumble among the clouds. She checked her alarm clock, making sure to reset it before it went off and bother her sisters. She knew Fuutarou was going to come in the afternoon and demand the Nakanos to do their homework. Not ready to talk to anyone yet, she picked up her finished work that was on her desk. She would place it in the living room when she leaves. Hopefully, the rest would get the message. Besides, she had a place to go.

Before leaving the room after she dressed up, she made a good look in the mirror. "This won't do," she muttered to herself. At the moment, she was Miku Nakano. If she was going to go where she had to go, she had to be someone else. She opened her top shelf to find a pair of star-shaped hairpins.

She moved her mouth around, a warm up before she imitated her sisters. How did Itsuki smile again? Miku remembered it being gentle and warm. A soft upward curve that matched the politeness and class that she carried.

She made her way downstairs with soft steps to make sure she didn't wake anyone else up. After placing her work on the table, she picked up her umbrella. She was ready to leave. Before exiting out the door, she turned to see her reflection on the window. This time, she looked like Itsuki. Much better.

Miku made her way across the city as her umbrella hid her from the sky. It was a Saturday dawn but in a metropolis like Tokyo, every hour was rush hour. Cars and buses flew right by her as she trudged along the wet sidewalk. She naturally felt her eyes stare down at the ground, which probably wasn't safe. But she already knew where to go so she didn't feel the need to keep her head up.

A light splash was made as she stepped over a puddle. Miku grimaced. Wet socks were the worst. The soggy texture made her skin crawl. Her feet made abrasive contact with her shoes. It felt unnatural.

Eventually, she made her way to her destination. She had her straight face on as she stared ahead, taking in the object of her view. Her 'blank face' as Nino said. She tried her best to smile the way Itsuki always does.

"Hey…mom."

She stood in front of her mother's grave.

"How are you? It's been a while. I'm sorry I wasn't able to visit you as often as I should have. I've been really busy since Fuutarou-kun became our tutor…Wait, no. That's just a poor excuse. I'm sorry."

She gripped her umbrella stronger. The rain pounded on it and the sound echoed over Miku's head.

"I guess I couldn't get myself to see your grave." Miku weakly lifted her lips upward. "I still find it strange to this day. We have a new life, you know? We no longer have to worry about money, a place to sleep, or food to eat. I remember when you used to stress so much about making sure Itsuki never starved."

Thunder rumbled across the clouds.

"And we're not as hopeless as we used to be. Thanks to Fuutarou-kun. He's socially inept at times. Dense. And often inconsiderate. But then again, who am I to talk? But he's really compassionate and warm, and I know you would have loved a guy like him to tutor us."

She shuffled her feet around a bit and touched the hairpins on her hair. She was dressed as Itsuki, maybe that's why she felt more comfortable talking to the grave.

"I wished you were still here to see how we all changed. Ichika is trying to become an actress. Even though she's in a lot of roles that involve her dead, she's doing great. Don't worry, I already got her signature for you. Nino is the sole reason why we're not dying of scurvy. Even if she got a bit haughty over the years…Well, we always fight but don't worry, we don't really mean what we say. Yotsuba becomes so athletic and outgoing. She's even the class rep in our class. And Itsuki…"

Miku remembered how depressed Itsuki was when their mother passed away. She was always the one who admired and looked up to their mother. Maybe that's why she dressed up as Itsuki, to feel closer to her mother. As Miku, she felt the guilt of making her mother's health deteriorate. But maybe as Itsuki, she could appreciate the love that her mother had for her quintuplets. As Itsuki, she felt she could talk to her mother.

"Itsuki is doing great, mom. She really looks up to you. She said that she wanted to become a teacher, just like you."

The grave didn't respond back.

"Everyone is doing great mom. They're growing up."

The sky was crying for her.

"I'm so sorry, mom. If you're wondering about me, I guess I learned how to stop talking to people. I learned how to fail a test on my favorite subject. I learned that I'm a horrible cook. I learned that…" She chocked. "I learned that I'm not someone you'd be very proud of."

Miku stood there for a while. She knew that Fuutarou was probably in her house, running her sisters to death with problems. She had to go back home. She can't stay out of her own life for too long. No one can.

Before she could move, a yelp rang across the cemetery.

"Itsuki, long time no see!"

She turned around to see a woman with round glasses in her late twenties. The women had a bob hair cut with bangs swept to the side. She was seen holding an umbrella on one hand and some flowers on the other.

"Who…?"

"I'm surprised you came to visit sensei on this dreadful day. Well, I guess it makes sense because you're her daughter after all. How have you-"

"I'm sorry." Miku bowed her head. "I think you have the wrong person."

She seemed to have been taken aback by Miku's abruptness. "Really? I could have sworn Itsuki looks like-woah, you must be her sister!"

Miku nodded.

"Ah, she did mention she was part of a quintuplet. Wow, you guys look like clones. I guess they don't call it identical for nothing!"

Miku felt herself smile. "I guess so."

"Well, I came here to visit my respects." She waved her flower before placing it in front of the tombstone. "Name is Shimodo. I actually met your sister here before and let me say, I really thought you were Itsuki."

That's because she did dress up as Itsuki. "I assure you," Miku smiled bitterly, "that you'll find me different from Itsuki."

Shimodo scratched her head. "Even so, you're still sensei's daughter. Why don't we go talk somewhere that's not raining? I know a good café that shouldn't be too far from here. Don't worry, I'll pay! Although it's going to hurt my bank account if you eat like Itsuki…"

Miku wondered if she should. She did, after all, have to go back home. But she'd figure everyone else would be fine without her. She would make up for her studying time later.

"Don't worry, I don't eat remotely as much as Itsuki."

* * *

"Are you sure that's all you want?"

"It's alright, Shimodo-san. This is good enough for me."

"Of all the things you could buy, you went for a Matcha Latte. I didn't know they had something like this."

Miku took a sip and felt herself smile. The warmth spread around her body. There was a soft, bitter aftertaste that made her tongue tingle. She watched as the light glared across the bakery, contrasting with the gray sky outside. The rain seemed to have forced a lot of people under a roof. People were idly chatting, filling out the seats. The flurry of laughter filled the place. Each conversation, each laughter had a prologue that was just as deep, complicated and messy as hers. Each person had something in them that made them special. She wondered if that applied to her as well.

"I would know because my sister and…my friend work here."

Shimodo shrugged as she took a sip out of her own coffee. "You should have seen the table when I was talking to Itsuki. I think she ordered half the menu."

Miku felt her lips tug upwards. "That sounds like her."

She felt a steady gaze from Shimodo who was staring at her in a thoughtful manner. "It seems I have been mistaken from the start. Although I can see that you look identical to Itsuki, it sure doesn't feel that way."

Miku wasn't sure how to feel about that. She felt her mouth turn sour.

"Ah, please don't take it in a bad way. I'm sorry, that sounded better in my head."

"It's… it's alright."

Miku shouldn't feel as upset by it as she was. Miku tried to smile it off. "Itsuki is a special girl. It's only natural for people to notice how different we are despite being sisters."

"I guess so," Shimodo said uncertainly. "She does seem to be a remarkable woman, just like sensei."

She felt her heart tug. "I'm glad. Itsuki always looked up to mom."

Shimodo nodded. "It seemed that way when we had our chat. She seemed very enthusiastic about following sensei's footsteps. Rash, some might say.

"You'll have to forgive her for that," Miku said. "She's an earnest girl, almost to a fault. But ever since that day, she's been setting her sight for the future in teaching. I guess she found her purpose." She bowed her head to the woman. "I think you had a tremendous influence to that. Thank you."

Shimodo scratched her cheek that was red. "It wasn't much. No need to thank me."

"She's been a real help to us during our study time. As her sister, I'm glad she found her passion in life. Besides, she's always tried to be just like our mom. I think this is perfect for her."

"Yes, I would agree as well."

Miku took another sip. The drink was no longer hot as she felt the liquid slide past her throat. It felt more bitter than before.

Miku was happy. She was. Of course she was happy for Itsuki. Why wouldn't she be? What kind of horrible sister would she be if-

"Are you alright? You look unsettled."

Miku flinched.

"Ah, I'm being rude again. I'm sorry. I just felt that you were-"

"It's alright," Miku interjected. "I was just…thinking."

"Oh?"

"Nothing special," Miku said dismissively. "I was just wondering...I guess I was wondering when I'll be able to find my future."

She scoffed at the idea.

Shimodo shifted her glasses. "Is there something you see yourself doing?"

The silence answered the question.

"Well, I suppose they say everyone is unique for a reason. I'm sure whatever you find, you won't regret it. Isn't that right, Itsuki?"

Miku turned around so fast she felt her neck pop. It was Itsuki. The real one. "Why are you here?"

"What do you mean? I came to buy snacks."

_Of course._

"Besides, I should be asking where you were. You left without saying a word. All you did was leave your packet on the table. We were worried about you! Well, Uesugi-kun was mad because he thought you tried to escape from his tutoring. And why do you have on my hairpins?"

"I- uhm, I…"

"I was just chatting with Miku over here and I asked her if she could wear those hairpins to see how similar you look," Shimodo interjected.

Miku threw her a grateful glance before composing herself. "We happened to accidentally meet so we decided to talk a bit."

Itsuki looked unsettled. "If you say so."

Miku got up, dusting off her skirt. "Come on, let's go home." She turned to bow to Shimodo. "Thank you very much for the drink and I appreciated the talk that we had."

Shimodo gave a toothy grin. "It's no problem! Always a pleasure to help out my sensei's daughter. Nice seeing you too, Itsuki!"

They made their way out, walking along the sidewalk as the rain poured over them. Miku heard the plastic rustle as it swayed back and forth the side of Itsuki's leg.

"Is what Shimodo-san said true? That she was the one who wanted to see you dressed like me."

"Do you not believe us?"

Itsuki flinched. "That's not what I meant."

Miku glanced toward her sister who was staring ahead of the road.

"I just thought there was more to your disguise than just the 'identical sister' gag," Itsuki said.

"I thought it would be nice to look like my beautiful sister, is that so wrong?"

"Fla- Flattery won't get you anywhere."

It did. She could see Itsuki turn her head away with her flushed cheeks.

Miku smiled. "Just let me be you for a while, okay Itsuki?"

"Hmph, if that's what you want."

She made a wry smile. There was always a reason why Miku became the best impersonator in the family. She didn't mind becoming Itsuki. But it was pointless. She already knew. She wasn't the diligent, gentle girl who spoke in a polite way to everyone. No matter how hard she tried, she wasn't that girl. She wasn't Itsuki.

"Hey, Miku."

"Hm?"

"After you talked with Shimodo-san, do you also have intentions on becoming a teacher?"

Miku looked into Itsuki's eyes to find hope. There was a youthful innocence that gleamed in them. She supposed Itsuki was the youngest sister after all.

"I'm not sure," Miku mused. "Do you want me to?"

"I, for one, think you would be an amazing teacher!"

Miku scoffed. "Talking in front of twenty judgmental teenagers would kill me."

"But you were so good at teaching us!"

"Hmmm, that's only because I was explaining it to you guys. I mean, we're quintuplets."

Itsuki frowned. "But still-"

"Nah," Miku said. "I don't think I was meant to become a teacher." She looked away, not bothering to avoid the puddles. Her socks were wet again. "I'm not like you. Or mom."

Itsuki flinched.

Miku laughed softly. "You admired mom so much that you decided to become just like her."

"I…"

"Don't worry, Itsuki. I'm glad. I'm glad you found your path. I'm glad you become resolved to find your future. It suits you."

"Miku…"

"Mom would have been so proud of you."

They were almost home. Walking over the footbridge they've been countless times before, they eventually made their way toward the elevator.

"I think she would have been proud of you to."

Miku made a face that might have resembled a smile. "Let's hope so."

"Miku…"

The elevator opened before Itsuki could say anything more. And with it, the entire room erupted.

"Itsuki, there you- Miku! You're back!"

"Where were you? You've been skipping our study sessions again? Get ready for-"

"Let's eat first!"

"Yotsuba, calm down."

She took a step forward. The house was lively as ever. "Hey, everyone."

"What where you doing?"

She felt the hairpins heavy in her pocket.

"I was just catching up with someone important."

**Yeah... I lied. I'm just going to post it all in one day. Well, I hope you don't mind my writing repetitive. Enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Please!"

"You got a lot of nerve to be asking me for help like this."

"Did you know that you're my favorite sister?"

"Flattery won't get you anywhere, Ichika…. But fine."

Ichika bashfully scratched the back of her head and laughed. "Whew. You saved me big time. Thanks!"

"Remind me again," Miku said, taking the wig from Ichika's hands, "why I'm doing this?"

"Sorry about that. I got a call for an emergency cutscene added last minute. And the absence policy at school is a bitch."

"Isn't the excused policy in play here because it's your professional work?"

"About that," Ichika blushed. "I may or may not have forgot to inform them 24 hours beforehand."

"Ichika…"

"They threw this onto me without a warning! It's not my fault!"

"Whatever." Miku sighed. She tucked the last strands of hair in the wig. It prickled against the scalp of her head. "When was the last time you washed this?"

"You're supposed to?"

"I'm going to pretend I never heard that."

Miku reminded herself to never leave things in Ichika's care.

"Just know that my attendance record is taking a hit because of you."

Ichika clasped her hands together. "Thank you, thank you! I owe you big time."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

"Make sure this is believable. I know you're the best impersonator out of the five of us- but still! Don't be lazy about this!"

"You worry about your own acting skills," She took Ichika's homework and placed it neatly in front of her folders. "I'll be fine. I'm not the best actress out of our family for nothing you know."

"That was uncalled for."

Miku smiled as she headed out the door to follow the rest of her sisters. "Good luck. Make it big for us so I can sell your autograph."

"Is that why you're helping me out? Big sister is hurt."

"What are you talking about?" Miku said. She gave a toothy grin she practiced countless of times in her room. "I'm the big sister now."

She dashed out the elevator to catch up with her sisters.

"Miku? Why are you-"

"Reasons."

"Ichika?"

Miku nodded. "Ichika."

Nino shrugged while Itsuki looked mortified. Yotsuba was ahead, tackling Fuutarou making his way across the street with his eyes on his paper.

"Miku! This is clearly against the school policy. I can't allow this behavior from you or Ichika!"

"My, my," Miku said. She pressed her index finger to her lips. "Big sister wished you would let her have her fun."

Itsuki flinched. "I always get creeped out by your impersonation skills."

She gave Itsuki a wink. "I'm not the best actress for nothing."

Nino snorted. "Is that Miku or Ichika speaking?"

They walked toward Yotsuba and Fuutarou. He was fixing Yotsuba's ribbon, lecturing her in the process.

"My, my, Fuutarou-kun." Miku leaned over, glancing up at the two. She made a sly smile at Yotsuba who was giving her a suspicious glance. "What made you so worked up this morning?"

"She scared the crap out of me while I was studying," he grumbled. He didn't bother to look at Miku as he made his final touches on Yotsuba's ribbon. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop tackling me?"

"That's because Uesugi-san refuses to look up from his paper and greet people properly."

"How many times do I have to tell you," Fuutarou said. "I'm studying."

"You're weird, Fuutarou-kun. Any normal guy would want a beautiful girl jump all over him."

Fuutarou was blushing as he turned his head toward Miku. "Don't phrase it in such a weird way, Ichi…" His voice faltered.

"Is there a problem, Fuutarou-kun?"

"Why are you dressed as Ichika…Miku?"

Miku flinched. "How did- come on, Fuutarou-kun. I thought you would be able to tell the difference by now." She tried to smile it off but she was disturbed. Was her acting off? "I'm clearly not Miku."

"Why are you dressed as Ichika, Miku?" Fuutarou asked.

Miku looked ahead. "I'm covering for her," she said.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Don't worry," she said. "I've done this countless of times for all my sisters."

"I don't think this will end well-"

"It's time we go to school, Fuutarou-kun."

"I second that. We're going to be late!"

"Yotsuba, not now!"

But despite Fuutarou's insistence, they made their way to school. Miku tried to ignore the glances Fuutarou gave her. She had other problems. Like talking to people. She knew Ichika was a popular girl. Something that _Miku_ was not.

She could feel her heartbeat rise each step they took. They were getting closer and closer to school. She would have to be the charming. She would have to be funny. She would have to be social. She would have to be like Ichika.

"Are you sure about this?"

Miku smiled as they walked down the school hallway. "I'll be fine. You worry about yourself, class-rep."

They walked together toward their classroom door. "But still, there's a lot-"

"Ichika-san, You're here!"

"I just watched the movie yesterday and I saw you!"

"You look great in your outfit!"

How did Ichika smile again? She took another step forward, closer to the congestion of people at Ichika's desk.

"Good morning, everyone!"

She sat down, feeling trapped as people swarmed around her. She felt the stares pierce straight into her that made her feel self-conscious.

"You know it's called _homework_ for a reason," she teased at the girl in front of her scribbling down last minute.

"That's rich coming from you, Ichika-san!"

She laughed along with the rest of the mass. As weird as it was, she felt herself actually laughing. There was a sense of identity she found in this role. She felt herself become someone else. She felt like she was out of her own self, as if someone took her soul and placed it in a different body. Is this how Ichika felt when she acts?

"Ichika-san, you came here with your sisters right?"

"Don't forget class-rep, Fuutarou-kun, as well."

She heard a snort behind her and felt her lips tug upward.

"Yeah, yeah. I get tackled by Yotsuba as my morning ritual."

"She's just that excited to greet you," Miku greeted. "Just like the rest of us. I clearly-"

"Yeah, yeah. Would you mind if you can pass out the papers for me, _Ichika_?"

She flinched when she saw the look in his eyes. They were sharp and intense; she felt herself naked through her disguise. "Of course!" she smiled. She got up and opened her arms.

"Wait, Ichika-san. I can do it for-"

"It's alright!" Miku reassured the people. "I'm honored for a responsibility given by our class-rep."

Fuutarou only rolled his eyes as he handed the stack of papers to Miku. She was glad that he gave her a chance to escape from the crowd of students. She knew he was still wary of her disguise, but she was glad that he was helping out. She gave him a quick wink as she walked by.

She felt herself giggle softly as she came across Ichika's paper. She quickly shoved it in her pocket and continued her job. She would have to give it to her later. She was done as she placed down the last paper. It seemed that everyone was here besides Ichika. Well, Miku, technically.

She went back to Ichika's desk.

"You finished quick, Ichika-san. Are you sure you did it correctly?"

"Don't be so rude" she laughed. "I'm pretty sure I gave everyone their paper back. Well, there was one absent, so technically no."

"Oh, really? I didn't even notice! Wow, I sure hope that person is… Ichika-san, are you okay?"

Everyone stopped chatting to stare at Mik- Ichika. She wasn't sure how she looked, but she didn't want to know.

"Yeah," she said. "I'm fine."

"Really?" someone asked, concerned. "You don't look so well."

"Sorry," Miku said. "My stomach was hurting."

"We better get you to the nurse then. Wh-"

"I'm fine," she interjected. "Besides, class is starting soon."

"If you say so…"

She lifted her lips upward. "I'll be fine. Thank you for caring."

She stared ahead as the bell alerted the start of class. The hollow reminder from Ichika's friend gnawed her insides. She should have known. No matter how good she was at pretending, no matter how good she was at acting, she was not Ichika.

She gripped her pencil. She didn't want to pity herself when she had to pay attention. Miku glared at the paper and back at the chalkboard. She felt her mind drift off like there was a powerful magnet that pulled Miku's focus away from everything.

She tried to ignore the glances Nino and Yotsuba made to her right. She could see Itsuki upfront, focused on writing down everything on the chalkboard. On her left was a student idly doodling a flower. She would glance up, scribble a few words, and go back to her sketch. Miku knew the student behind her had his head down, snoring softly to sound of the lecture. Fuutarou was staring ahead at the board. His eyes glimmered; he would look down, furiously scribble a few words with precision and accuracy Miku never saw before and look up again to see what the teacher had to say. Miku guessed he already knew the material, but he did tell her before that learning a material the second time is more effective.

Making her way down the class, she let her eyes wandered to the back of the class and to her desk. Obviously, it was empty.

Empty. She wondered if anyone noticed. She wondered if anyone bothered to think she was absent. She pursed her lips. Had Miku not taken Ichika's place, people would have wondered. They would have asked one of the sisters where Ichika was and if she was okay.

Miku didn't want to sound like she was jealous of Ichika. She was beloved by the class for a reason. She earned the right to be liked by everyone. Miku didn't. Miku was just the wallflower with four pretty sisters.

Miku stared ahead at the board again. She had no time to feel sorry for herself. She quickly jotted down the last few numbers before the teacher could erase it. She would have to ask Fuutarou on what it means later.

1234567890

Miku packed up her bags and looked up to find Fuutarou in front of her.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, you can," Fuutarou said. "It's been bothering me the entire day, actually. I could hardly focus."

"Sure didn't seem like it."

"Well, I was."

"All right, then. What's up?"

He glanced around. He spoke with his voice low and quiet. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because she asked me to."

"But what about your attendance?"

Miku shrugged. "It's unlikely for me to be absent from school, so I'll be fine. Don't worry, it won't affect our grades."

"That's now why I'm… That's not what I meant."

Miku leaned over her arms, resting her cheek on her palm. "Then what is it Fuutarou-kun? Scared that I'll get caught acting? You know how good I am at acting."

"And that's what bothers me," he mumbled quietly, Miku barely caught it.

"What do you mean?" she frowned.

"You're the quietest one out of the 5-"

"You'll need to be a valedictorian to make that kind of observation."

"Ha, ha, very funny. But I get it. Some people are just naturally more reserved than others."

"So…?"

"Why are you so good at this? And why do you do this so often? You don't want to become an actress like Ichika and yet, you can really pull of your sisters."

"I'm not."

"Not what?"

She smiled. "I'm actually not a good at acting. I blush way to easily in scary or embarrassing situations. I also have too much of a deadpanned face to express emotions."

"Then how… ?"

"I'm not a good actress. I'm just good at pretending to be my sisters."

"Wait…What's that-"

"Um, I know it's rude to interrupt, but…Ichika-san?"

Miku glanced over. He was a tall boy with sharp features. His hair was neatly swept to the side with a shiny earing. His school uniform hugged him, complimenting his stature and physique.

"Hello," Miku greeted with a smile. "You're not from our class, are you?"

He coughed. "No, I'm from class 3 actually. But I was wondering if you have time right now." He glanced over to Fuutarou and nodded. "However, I understand if you can't."

"It's fine, actually," she said. She glanced at Fuutarou who folded his arms and grunted. "We just finished talking."

"Great! Umm, if we could talk in private… that would be nice."

Miku knew what was coming. It already happened to her before. She shakily got up and offered him a smile. "Sure thing. You think the hallway stairs is good enough?"

Miku felt her legs wobble on their way. Her heart stopped when he finally turned. He was tall enough to where Miku had to look up to see him. He certainly wasn't _bad_ looking.

"I know that we just met," he stated. He scratched his cheek, unwilling to make eye contact with Miku. For a guy his stature, he certainly seemed bashful. "But, I really find myself attracted to you and I was wondering if you're able to get coffee with me sometime."

As shy as he seemed, at least he had the courage to confess, unlike others that Miku knew (hint: it was herself). Miku felt herself falter. He seemed so earnest and polite that she hesitated to reject him for Ichika's place.

"I'm…really sorry."

He sighed. "No, it's alright." He laughed. "I should have expected it. After all, we barely know-"

"No." Miku bit her lips. "That's not what I meant."

He looked at her confused.

"I…" She grabbed her wig and took it off, letting her long hair exposed. "Ichika couldn't be here today, so I had to cover for her…"

He stood there.

"I'm, um, I'm one of her identical sisters and she asked me to cover for her today. I'm sorry. You seem like a great guy, so I hope you can confess to Ichika again when she's here."

Miku was worried on how the guy would take it. She felt a breath of relief when he laughed.

"Aw, man! I was not expecting that. I don't even know where to start! Identical sisters?" He scratched the back of his head. "Geez, talk about weird moments! Don't worry, miss. It's totally fine. I guess I'll talk to her when it's actually _her_."

"I'm sorry," Miku said.

She left school that day feeling horrible. She felt her stomach queasy and her mouth turn sour. Was she sick?

No, it was guilt. What she was feeling was guilt.

She felt bad for the guy. Miku suspected that it must have took a lot of courage to confess to someone they like. And Miku ruined that moment for him. He seemed like really great person. Besides, it made sense that he would like Ichika. Ichika was cute, attractive, charming, and funny. She was something to be admired. Of course he would be attracted to someone like her. And what did he get for taking courage to confess? All he got was Miku pretending to be someone she could never be.

Miku felt the guilt inside her gnaw away. Instead of Ichika, it was Miku. She clinched her fist as she sped walk her way home.

She got home to see Ichika on the couch, examining scribbled sheets. She looked up. "Hey, Miku! How are- you okay?"

"Yeah," she lied. "I'm fine. How did your scene go?"

"Well, they decided that my character was better off dead."

"Aren't we all?"

"Easy there, sunshine."

Miku smiled as she took out her journal and plopped it on the table. "Here's the notes for today."

"Thanks. I owe you big time."

There was a pause between them and Miku wondered what to do.

"Something happened…didn't it?"

"Yeah," Miku said. "You got asked out."

"Oh geez," Ichika said. "Again?"

"He said he was from class 3. Wait, what do you mean again?"

"It's a weekly thing for me to get asked out. No big deal," she said with a wave of her hand. "It's hard being so attractive."

"We're identical." Miku rolled her eyes. But still, Miku understood why. Why Ichika and why not Miku.

She sat down next to Ichika. "He seemed like a good guy," she said. "Tall, attractive, and surprisingly shy and gentle."

"Oh?"

"It must have took a lot out of his to confess like that."

"I see."

Miku stared at the table, inspecting the scribbled letters she wrote. She hugged her legs. "Why do you think you're so popular?"

Ichika blinked. "What do you mean?"

Miku rolled her eyes. "Don't pretend as if you didn't know. Everyone in the school practically worships you."

"I am an actress so I suppose people are just nicer to me."

"Yeah, but no. People don't just revere you. They're nice to you. They joke around with you. They don't seem to be intimidated that you're on several blockbuster movies."

"It's not like I'm the lead role or anything."

"But still…They both respect you and treat you as their equal. Why do you think that is?"

Ichika turned her head toward Miku. "Why are you asking me this?"

Miku shrugged. "I just wanted to know."

"Honestly, I haven't put much thought into it. I guess it's because I also try my best to act natural?"

"So you're acting to a point where you're not really acting?"

"Well, it sounds paradoxical now that you mention it. But," she smiled, "I suppose it's because I try to be who I am."

"Wait a minute…Do you even know what that means?"

Ichika thought about it for a while. The silence between them was filled with the rush hour heard down below.

"No," she admitted. "Not really. I remember when Fuutarou-kun told me that I shouldn't smile to hide my true feelings. To be fair, I suppose I lived my life as the older sister with responsibilities ever since mom passed away. I took that responsibility on my own shoulders. So I guess I don't really know what it means." She smiled as she rested her head on Miku's shoulders. "But does it really matter? I mean, we all live life as who we think we should be. Isn't that enough?"

Miku wasn't sure about it. She felt it was easy to say it was enough when there was something to be satisfied with. It's easy to say that when you have everyone loving the façade you put on. But what about the times when it's not enough? What about the times when you can barely speak up because you're scared of stuttering? What about the times when you feel like you're being annoying and bothering people when you really want to talk to them? What about the times when you feel worthless because you're not good enough in what you do compared to everyone else?

It's easy to be satisfied with yourself when you have something worth satisfied.

"All though," Ichika said with a laugh. "I'm not really sure myself. But in the end, I never cared about popularity. So maybe that's why it was easier for me to be liked?"

"Sounds very confusing to me," Miku said.

"Don't read to much into your big sister."

"How can I not? I look up to her after all."

"Flattery won't get you anywhere, Miku."

They stayed in their position that they were in. She heard a bunch of yelling and she knew that the rest of the gang would show. Soon enough, the door busted open as the cavalry arrived.

"Ichika! Where were you today?"

"My, my, Fuutarou-kun. Did you miss me that badly?"

"Itsuki, wash your hands before you raid the fridge!"

"I already did, Nino!"

"Miku, you won't believe how many points I scored in our basketball game today!"

"By the way, Ichika. Did you properly thank Miku?

"That's right! You can't just ask people to cover for you the way Miku did."

"That's because most people don't have identical siblings, Uesugi-san."

Miku smiled but she had yet to know why. "It's alright guys… I didn't mind being Ichika."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Miku made her little oompa loompa dance as she tried to put on her leggings. She then shoved her sports tank top on, feeling it wrap around her like a second skin. The clothes felt abrasive against her. She hoped that it was only uncomfortable because they were new. She shuffled her hair around before tying it into a ponytail with the elastic hair band Yotsuba gave her. The back of her neck tingled as it was exposed to the cool air.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She felt exposed. She felt as if she was cosplaying for a gym convention. A fraud who was only pretending to look healthy. The type of person to post vegan foods and gym clothes on Instagram. She felt fake.

She hoped that she would get used to the clothes and feelings. If she exercised more, she would eventually find it natural. Right?

She got picked up her drawstring bag along with her jacket and headed downstairs. She silently cursed when she saw Fuutarou sitting in the living room, teaching Ichika and Itsuki. She really didn't want anyone to see her like this.

Ichika greeted her first. "Oh, Miku! You're looking great. Heading to the gym?"

Miku nodded she sped-walked past them. She made her way to the entrance, shoving her feet into the holes of her tennis shoe.

"Woah, what got you so…'worked up'?"

"Bad pun, Ichika," Itsuki muttered.

Fuutarou got up and looked at the two sisters first. "You guys try to finish the next problem, okay? I'll be back real quick." Then he made his walked toward Miku.

He stood next to her as she waited for the elevator. They both stared ahead.

"I didn't know you were the type of person to exercise," Fuutarou said.

"I'm not."

"Well, you're going to the gym right? Then you clearly are."

"This is my first time."

"If I recall, a Chinese proverbs says a thousand mile journey begins with one step."

"Is that so?"

The elevator crawled it's way up. The ticking sound filled the silence between them.

"You haven't been to our study sessions in a while."

"I'm sorry," Miku said. "I've been busy with my working schedule."

"I was just…worried."

"If you're worried about me failing," Miku said. "Please don't worry too much. I'm doing my best to study on my own and I promise I'll go to more study sessions."

"That's not…what I meant."

She turned toward him, curious. "What do you mean?"

He looked away from Miku, lifting his hand to cover his mouth. "I just… wanted to know if you were doing- you know, okay and all."

It took a while for Miku to process what he meant. The silence between them was rhythmically disrupted by the beeping noise of the elevator.

"Oh," she realized. She giggled softly. "You could just ask me normally."

"I'm not used to asking people stuff like this, okay?"

"I'm okay, Fuutarou-kun. Really, I am. Thank you for asking."

Fuutarou crossed his arms. "I'm not saying I doubt you."

"But you do."

He shrugged. "Something feels off, I suppose. It's weird."

"To put it in perspective, you're tutoring quintuplets who can barely pass a test. You should be used to this by now. So what's actually bothering you?"

"The fact that my friend is unwilling to share with me her problems."

Miku looked at him. "We're friends now? Weren't you the one who said we're strictly partners?"

Fuutarou flinched. "Things may have changed since the fireworks."

"Is that so? Then I'm glad." There was a ding and with it, the elevator opened. She stepped in.

"Wait, Miku!"

She tried to smile to him. "It's alright, Fuutarou-kun. I'm alright."

"No, you're not."

"Go help my sisters, Fuutarou-kun," Miku said as the door closed. "They need you."

She stared ahead as the elevator descended. Miku was okay. Miku was alright. Because she didn't have any other choice but to be.

She stepped into the gym and she instantly regretted her decision. The floor expanded far and beyond, rows of treadmills and indoor cycles filled the area. Racks made for squatting loomed around the area, fortifying the gym. Gigantic dumbbells and plates were placed around, like statues to be admired at.

She didn't belong here.

Miku examined the paper she was holding. It was a workout guideline that Yotsuba made for her.

_Of course I'll help you! I'll make sure you can become the next Lebron James! _

_ Wait, Yotsuba, that won't be necessary. I just want to be-_

_ I'll be right there to train you!_

_ It's alright. I just need to be able to work out on my own._

_ Oh, okay! Follow this workout sample and I'll guarantee results!_

She glared at the messy paper. She first read:

**WARM UP! 7 Minutes on treadmill! (8 mph!)**

"You need to calm down on your exclamation points, Yotsuba."

She looked around the gym floor and settled on a treadmill that was secluded on the human eye. She didn't want her fiasco to be known by anyone.

She got on and fiddled with the buttons, unsure on how treadmills work. _Warm up_, is that what Yotsuba meant? _Cool down_, okay so not that…right? _Interval,_ what's that suppose to mean? She hesitantly pressed on the buttons based on their color, hoping it would do something.

A stranger walked by. "You press the green button first before you can start the warmup function, miss."

"Ah…Thank you." She blushed, feeling mortified. She quickly pushed the buttons, hoping to start so she could forget about the embarrassment. She breathed a sigh of relief when the treadmill starting to move. She lifted one foot after the other, slowly catching the rhythm. A rhythm that matched the speed of a bullet train.

Left. Right. Left. Right. Righ- wait, no. Left. Crap, the treadmill was going too fast for her.

Miku felt herself panting harder and harder. Her lungs felt like they were being squeezed by a python. Her heart was pounding against her chest, demanding her to stop. She was sweating profusely.

She immediately paused the workout. She stumbled down on the floor and naturally felt herself leaning over her knees. She coughed a bit, her throat scratchy from breathing to hard. Her head felt like it was floating in air and her ears were buzzing.

It was only a warmup and she felt like she was dying.

"Don't quit on me yet."

"What- _gasp_\- do- _gasp_\- you want, Yotsuba?"

She handed Miku a towel, which she gratefully accepted.

"Well, I was curious on how it was going to go."

Miku slowly caught her breath and looked up. She noticed how natural Yotsuba looked with her sport ribbon tied to her hair with black leggings and a sports bra. "How do you expect me to sprint for 8 minutes?"

Yotsuba laughed as she patted Miku on the back. "But that got you warmed up, right?"

Miku felt herself fill with dread. "That was only the warmup," she realized. That fiasco in it of itself was more than she ever did in her life.

Yostuba cheered. "It's okay, don't worry! I'll help you out for today."

Miku looked at her warily. "You really don't have to."

"But I want to," Yotsuba said. "Exercise is important and vital for your health. But if you do it wrong you're going to get hurt really badly!"

She offered Miku a hand and gave her the smile that she always wore. It was that stupid smile that could make any bad day good again.

Miku took it and followed her around. She couldn't help but stare at the toned muscles on Yotsuba's back. There was a perfect slope that curved into her slim waistline and back out for her hips.

"Today, we're starting out with a bang!"

"Umm, how about we start small and work our way up."

Yotsuba waved it off. "Go big or go home, Miku!"

"I'll like to go home then."

"Okay," Yotsuba said as she ignored Miku. She picked up what seemed like an iron rod. "This thing," she point at the rod that went up to her height, "is an Olympic barbell. By standard, it weighs 45 pounds. We'll be starting off with back squats. Look at my movements and follow them. Don't worry about messing up because I'll help you along the way."

There was a sharp look in Yotsuba's eyes that Miku never saw before. She watched as Yotsuba moved with precision and focus. She was like a sharp blade wielded by a samurai master.

"Okay," Yotsuba said as she placed the weights back to the rack. "That's basically it. Make sure to keep your toes pointed outward, it'll save your knees. Oh, and don't forget to place the weight on the heels instead on the sole. Keep your core tight and breath out when you perform th-"

"Woah, woah, Yotsuba. Slow down," Miku said. "I can't catch that all."

"Ah, sorry. I was just excited to teach you. Here, I'm taking off the weights because I want you to get the feeling of it first. Make sure to perform five total."

She gently placed the barbell that was resting on the squat stand. It dug into the fat of her shoulders. She took a deep breath, gathering up the determination inside of her. She step forward and immediately felt pressure drag her body down.

She bent her knees, trying her best to emulate it the way Yotsuba did. Once she felt like she squatted down far enough, she tried to get up. She felt a deep, painful stretch. A knife seemed to have cut across the back of leg and up to her hip. She extended her knees out and felt her legs give a quick shake.

She took a deep breath again. It went like this four more times, each movement becoming more and more unstable and painful than the last. After resting the bar back on the stand, her legs shook like a newborn deer. It was on fire.

"That was-"

"That was pathetic," Miku said.

"Don't be so harsh on yourself," Yotsuba said. "You can't-"

"Excuse me, ladies. I couldn't help but see how you were performing the squat and offer you assistance."

The man that approached them was wearing his cap backwards. He had a thin and tight tank top that somehow exposed his nipples. He had an inflated chest with balloons inserted into his arms.

"We're completely fine on our own, thank you very much." Yotsuba rolled her eyes as she crossed her arm.

The muscle dude raised his hands, as if to surrender. "Well, don't mind me then." He left, but turned around last second. "But don't hesitate to call for me if you need any."

"We won't," Yotsuba scoffed. "Ugh, those types of body builders always annoyed me. As if they think having muscles is actually going to make us drool," she said as they watched him walk away.

"I'm surprised you were able to do that. Usually you're so nice."

"I guess it's because I feel more aggressive when I'm working out?" Yotsuba laughed.

"Does this happen often to you?"

"Well, not really. People who workout usually respect the rules here."

"Rules?"

Yotsuba scratched her chin. "Well, it's like an unofficial rule, you know? You give people respect and privacy when they're pretty good, especially if they're girls. Like lifting heavy and all. A veteran respect, I suppose. I guess he thought he could hit on us because he thought we were weak. Sort of like, let-me-hit-on-these-girls-by-trying-to-teach-them, kind of thing?"

As Miku slowly chewed on what Yotsuba was explaining, she felt guilt prickle inside of her. Was she dragging down Yotsuba?

"It's no matter, let's get right to it!"

"Huh? I thought we were done with this?"

"Are you kidding me, Miku? We got four more sets."

Four more sets. That was 20 more squatting movements. She barely made it past five.

"Great! Now to our next one: it's deadlifts!"

Miku felt herself in great danger and she contemplated why she bothered to exercise with Yotsuba in the first place.

After trudging past the last exercise, she was gasping for breath. Her legs were on fire and she could no longer stand. She felt her face flush as she leaned against the wall. She could feel the stares, a hundred pair of eyes silently judging her lack of fitness. She felt weak. Well, she was. But she felt out of shape. Not in a way of gasping for air like a fish, but in a way where she felt her body was unnatural. As if it was lumpy mush of clay, enveloping itself in a layer of thick, sticky blubber.

She poked the arm that was exposed by her tank top. It was flabby against her sides. She then watched Yotsuba who had her muscles perfectly line up on where they were supposed to be. If they needed a real life body to teach medical students about anatomy, Yotsuba would be perfect.

She remembered when they were kids. They were the same. How hard did Yotsuba work to get where she was now?

Miku could barely survive the warmup. She could barely do a proper squat. She was weak, inflexible, and slow.

She felt pathetic.

"Hey, I know you're feeling bad about yourself right. Don't." Yotsuba scolded as she walked next to her. "It's okay."

"I'm fine. I have my beginner's excuse, right? I'm proud of myself."

"Miku, it's okay."

Miku scowled. "I told you. I'm fine. I'm-" Her legs wobbled and she felt her body collapse down on itself. Luckily, Yotsuba caught her before she could hug the ground.

"You should have let me fall," Miku muttered. "That way, I could have performed on more rep of squats."

Yotsuba rolled her eyes. "Ha, ha." After helping Miku stand properly, she leaned forward with her hands reaching away from her. Piggyback ride.

Miku sighed in defeat. She stared down at the ground, unwilling to see how much of an embarrassment the scene would be. Maybe it was her imagination, but she could feel the stares stab straight into her as they- or more precisely, Yotsuba- walk out of the gym.

They walked in silence before Yotsuba decided to be Yotsuba and try to cheer up Miku.

"I'm not like you," Miku interjected Yotsuba's pep talk. "You didn't need my paper because it's your workout, right? This workout was made for you, not me."

"Well, actually," Yotsuba said. "I only did this workout for two weeks. You got to switch your routine so it makes your muscles uncomfortable."

"You seem plenty of comfortable to me."

Yotsuba shrugged. "Today was still painful and I feel really sore."

"You're kidding."

"You of all people know how bad I am at lying. My legs are actually killing me right now."

"Then why did you offer me a piggyback ride?"

"Because I thought you would need it."

Miku stared at the ground. "Put me down."

"No."

"Put me down, Yotsuba!"

"You worked hard today. You must be exhausted."

"But so are you!"

But Yotsuba only tightened her grip on Miku. She continued to walk and Miku wondered just how strong Yotsuba is.

"I'm fine. Besides, we're almost there."

Miku rested her head against Yotsuba's shoulder. "You're impossible."

The silence between was only interrupted by the speeding cars. The glaring light of the sun setting down was behind them. Miku felt the slow, rocking rhythm of Yotsuba walking calm herself down.

"How do you get so used to the pain?"

Yotsuba kept her eyes straight. "Hmm?"

"I'm sore all over right now. I feel like someone stabbed my leg with a machete."

"Don't worry, you'll _really_ feel it tomorrow morning."

"Geez, thanks." Miku rolled her eyes.

"But you actually don't."

"Excuse me?"

"I wouldn't really say you get used to the pain, you know?" Yotsuba considered for a while. She looked up, thinking how to explain her answer. "I guess what I'm saying is how you don't really get used to the pain, but you grow to accept it?"

"They both sound the same to me."

"I think it's weird too," Yotsuba laughed. "But I think you'll learn what I'm kind of talking about when you do this longer."

Miku tightened her embrace around Yotsuba. Could she actually be able to improve? With the way things were at the moment, Miku didn't believe so. She was no way near Yotsuba. The idea made her laugh. "Remember when we were young and I used to give you piggyback rides all the time?"

"Yeah," Yotsuba said. "I do."

"Times have changed since then."

Yotsuba giggled. "I have the power now."

"Don't get cocky," Miku said. "I talked with Fuutarou before. You know, when we had our tag game during the ski day."

Yotsuba's head perked up and her eyes glanced towards Miku. "Oh?"

"Well, I thought about tying some weights on your shoe or something. I was thinking about how to make things equal for the rest of us."

"Wa~ I don't like the sound of that."

"Relax," Miku smiled. "Fuutarou shut the idea down."

"Hmph, I knew Uesugi-san was always on my side."

"He said about not making it equal, but fair."

"Hmm, those two sound awfully similar to me."

Miku sighed. She lightly smacked Yotsuba in the head. Leave it Yotsuba to be airy. "You have the best grades out of the five of us in language arts. Use it."

"Let's not be so rude here."

Miku continued after laughing. "When we were kids, we were all the same. But eventually, we grew up to be different."

Yotsuba walked ahead a bit before responding. "I guess so."

"You must have worked really hard, Yotsuba," Miku said. She hugged her sister tighter. "You must have worked really hard to be like this."

She wondered how long Yotsuba spent in the gym, exercising to be as athletic as she was now. All by herself. She figured it out all by herself. Miku had Yotsuba to help her and even then, it wasn't enough.

Miku felt bad to use Yotsuba's achievements to berate herself. She wasn't being fair to Yotsuba. Yotsuba was the cheerful girl who could brighten anyone's day. She was the sunshine. She was the harmonizer in their family.

"Hey, stop that," Yotsuba scolded.

"Stop what?"

"Stop doubting yourself. You did great today."

"What if I was giving myself a pat on the back for being healthy? I'm adulting here Yotsuba."

"No need to be sarcastic. I can feel you brooding on my back."

Miku sighed. "I felt like a newborn giraffe learning how to run."

"And that's completely okay because we all have to start somewhere at some point."

"There it is. You and your disgusting optimism."

"Do you not believe me?"

"I'm not saying I don't…"

"But you don't."

Miku pursed her lips. "Throughout the entire time, I felt like I was doing something that was meant for you."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I didn't plan on discouraging you. I just wanted to help."

"It's okay, Yotsuba. You did."

"But then-"

"This is on my insecurity, not your compassion. Don't beat yourself for nothing."

"Funny," Yotsuba said. "I could have said the same for you."

Miku wiggled around a bit. "Yotsuba, I'm okay now. I think I can walk."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine," Miku promised. Yotsuba looked uncertain but loosened her grip on Miku. She let her feet touch the ground and she immediately regretted her choice. "Not again," she muttered as her feet collapsed under her. Her vision went static as she felt a buzz on her head. Luckily, Yotsuba caught her in time.

"If you're going to say 'I told you so', I'm going to shove you in front of a moving car."

"I doubt you'll be able to do anything at this point…I told you so."

"Yotsuba," Miku warned.

"Okay, okay," Yotsuba said. "And I thought Itsuki was stubborn. Look, you don't have to be on my back, but let me at least help you walk. I think you pulled a muscle from working too hard."

"You don't have to make excuses for me." But Miku relented. She shifted her weight as she leaned toward Yotsuba's support. "Someday, I'll be able to do this on my way. I'll be in perfect shape."

Yotsuba only smiled as they headed closer to home. They were almost there.

"You know, it doesn't get easier."

"You're kidding me."

"Maybe a little." Yotsuba laughed. "But…I remember when I first trained myself and how exhausted I was. And sure, I improved a lot. But I think what I'm trying to say is that I still have a lot more to go."

They were finally home. What felt like hours had finally ended. They approached the elevator and Yotsuba continued to talk. "I guess we'll always be in a state of process, huh? We're never at a point of 'being' but always 'becoming'."

"Yotsuba…that was actually really-"

"So I guess we should be human 'becoming' instead of human 'beings'?"

"And there you go," Miku sighed. "You just had to ruin your moment."

"How RUDE!"

Miku laughed. The elevator opened and they walked inside. On their way up, Miku considered what Yotsuba had said. She tried her best to improve herself and exercising at the gym was a part of it. That's how it was. She tried her best to improve her cooking and baking skills. She tried to become more open and social. She tried to be more healthy and athletic. But in the end, she felt that she came up short on every attempt to improve herself. Every time she made a step forward, she would feel herself retract back to the same Miku. She tried her best to become someone like Ichika, Nino, Yotsuba, or Itsuki. She tried to become someone amazing, just like her sisters. But in the end, she was Miku.

If people were always in the process of something, was she headed to her own failure or success? She was afraid to find the answer.

The elevator dinged and the door opened. They walked and Miku felt a wave of fatigue rush over her. She still had to study, but she was too tired to think. She wanted to lie down and sleep for as long as possible.

"Hey, girls," Fuutarou said as he turned to greet them. "How are-"

Miku stumbled across and threw herself on the couch. Stairs would require her to lift her legs. No.

"Miku, are you alright?"

"It was her first day," Yotsuba explained. "She exercised to exhaustion."

"Oh, good for her, I guess."

Yotsuba turned to face him and smiled. "You should join us!."

Fuutarou scoffed. "No thanks."

"Come on! It'll be fun."

"Did you finish your homework?" Fuutarou asked, ignoring her invite.

"Umm…I have to go take a shower!"

"Yotsuba! Get back here and show me your work. NOW!"

Miku felt herself comfortably drown at the couch. She felt the cushion hug her, telling her that she worked hard for the day. She felt another wave of fatigue roll by and she wanted to do nothing but sleep.

Miku closed her eyes, letting the rhythm of time and space to dull her to sleep. She hugged her duffle bag, trying to find comfort behind the agony in her legs.

_A work in progress. _

_ Always looking to improve._

Maybe someday, she would be able to walk on her own after exercise. Maybe someday, she would be like Yotsuba.

But for now, she was Miku. And for now, she was too tired to be sad about it.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Are you sure?"

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

"It's just, you haven't been hanging out with us for a while now. Even Fuutarou will be there to with Raiha-chan. It's not every day Uesugi-san lets us have a Friday night off."

Miku offered them a smile. "I'm not feeling too well at the moment."

Yotsuba frowned. "I can stay here and nurse you."

She shook her head. "You guys go have fun. I'll be fine on my own here."

They glanced at each other. Miku wished they would stop feeling bad and go. It wasn't on them to make sure Miku felt better. She ignored the suspicious glare that Nino made. She has been doing that a lot to Miku lately.

"Go," Miku gently insisted. "Before he yells at you for being late. You don't want Raiha upset, do you?"

"No fair," Itsuki grumbled. "Using Raiha-chan as leverage should be illegal."

Eventually, they relented after Miku promised to call them if her 'headache' got worse. She breathed out a sigh of exhaustion as she waved them goodbye and the door closed. Her smile, along with her legs, collapsed and she fell to the floor.

Miku was tired, but not the tired that could be solved by sleep or rest. She sat there, staring at her dirty shoes that was resting on the shoe rack. Unworn. Dirty. And alone. Her shoulders relaxed and she immediately felt a flash of pain around the back of her neck. How long had she been tensing her shoulders?

Miku eventually picked herself up and dusted off her loose pajamas. Her shirt hung loosely over her shoulders, dangerously teasing out her breast. How lady-like.

She made her way to the kitchen. Miku figured she would take in the rare opportunity to practice her cooking. She shuffled around the area, scouting for supplies. Should she bake, or cook?

Miku wasn't feeling all that hungry so she figured making some cinnamon rolls would be fine. She saw Nino make them countless of times for Yotsuba and Itsuki. Maybe she could do it as well.

She brought out some butter and milk from the fridge. Miku knew Nino kept some high-quality yeast for the dough in the pantry above. Brown sugar and cinnamon would be on the drawer to the right. The mixer would be with the pots and pans. Was she missing anything? Well, other than baking skills.

Miku bit her lips as she carefully poured milk into the mixing bowl. She cursed when she got the butter. _You have to always make sure the butter isn't too melted or cold_, she would hear Nino mutter to herself. The butter turned into soup and Miku was practically pouring it in. The butter clashed against the milk and created an ugly solution of yellow. It was an eyesore.

After pouring in the yeast to create the dough, she would have to wait for it to expand. In the meantime, she would have to create the cinnamon sauce for the roll. She dumped the brown sugar along with the cinnamon and furiously shook it.

Miku felt the overwhelming joy of creating something people liked. She remembered when she first made food for Fuutarou. It was a failed omelet rice. A disaster compared to the heaven that Nino made.

_Both are good_.

She felt a flood of relief wash over her when she heard those words. She felt a warm flutter inside her when she realized that she was the one who made something good. At least, according to Fuutarou.

Something good finally came out of her and the awe stuck with her ever since. There seemed like a chance for her to do something more. She wanted to recreate that feeling of accomplishment and joy.

So she practiced.

She would intently watch cooking shows over her preferred documentaries. She would go on YouTube to see any new ways to make food. She would watch Nino's every movement when she cooked, hoping to emulate her skills and abilities. She would practice all by herself. By the fruit of her effort, Miku would improve to make delicious food for the people she cared about.

Until she didn't.

"What am I missing?" she muttered as she poked the dough. From what she saw from Nino, it was supposed clean and white and a bit dry. But what was in front of her was a goo of a yellow blob, the smell of lukewarm milk reeking against her nose.

_Sometimes, hard work doesn't pay off. _

"Flour! I completely forgot the flour!" She dashed toward the pantry, scouting the area. She found a big sack covered in white dust and picked it up. It was heavy.

_There are moments in life when the effort put in only yields failures._

She ran toward the bowl, carrying the heavy sack within her arms. 

_People say that giving it your all leaves no regrets._

She felt herself lose balance.

_But that's not true. It hurts more, knowing deep inside that no matter how hard you try, you weren't good enough._

She fell forward, failing to catch herself with her hands. The sack exploded when it contacted with the ground first. Flour flew everywhere. Miku breathed in some and coughed.

_You aren't good enough, Miku._

She was still. She stared at the flour sack with a huge hole. She didn't want to look up. Miku didn't want to see the mess she created. She didn't want to see the spectacular disaster she made. She could still hear the bowl rattle above her. She didn't move. The noise stopped.

The very next thing to happened was a bang when the bowl collided against the floor. The goo splattered across the kitchen and she felt a slimy slap across her cheek.

"Please," Miku choked out. She wasn't sure who she was talking to.

"Please. Just, please."

The tear droplet mixed with the flour and the butter dough.

"Let me get it right for once. All I want to do was make something good for my family."

The night was silent. Miku struggled to control her breathing and lied there, flailing her arms around. Her vision blurred through her tears. She was having a breakdown.

"I don't want to screw up anymore."

The night went by and the only comfort Miku had was the rhythmical ticking the clock gave. She knew her sisters were about to come home any minute. She didn't want anyone to see the mess she made. Miku got up and scrubbed the kitchen with a towel. She placed the materials back into their original place. She felt bad for failing to use them properly. Had it been Nino, she would have made it in no time.

But she wasn't Nino.

She furiously wiped away a tear. She scrubbed against the floor harder, trying to erase the butter that solidified.

Miku couldn't do anything right. She couldn't play any sports. She couldn't cook. She can't make friends. She didn't have any future goals.

What was she doing?

After finally cleaning up her kitchen, she plopped down on the couch. She wasn't able to accomplish anything but she was still exhausted after everything that had occurred. Having mental breakdowns were always draining.

Maybe there was a reason why she continued to mess up. Perhaps it's a test? A challenge that will reap unbelievable rewards? She wanted her failure to meaning something. She wanted to mean something. But the fear that all her failures are just results of her inaptitude, rather than a promise, paralyzed her. That fear pierced through her and it hurt.

She sat on the couch, hugging her knees close to her chest. She stared ahead, letting the sound of the cars honking below drown out her own thoughts. Her eyes gradually made its way down. She was getting tired.

On the verge of falling asleep, she heard a rustle near the door.

"Miku! You won't believe-Oh, she's sleeping."

"Aww, she looks so peaceful!"

"I hope she's alright."

"Oh my, Fuutarou-kun. Is this worry I hear?"

"Don't tell me you're not."

"Well, I got to admit. She's been acting strange lately."

"Don't worry, she'll come around."

"Nino…"

"Sooner or later, she'll come back to her annoying self."

"It's okay, Nino…We're all concerned for her too."

"Who said anything about-"

"Like you said, Miku will snap out of her funk. I know she will."

"Yeah…She better. Who else is going to argue with me every day?"

Miku fought against the grogginess. She felt the cold water passing her throat give her the jolt she needed. She had woken up in her bed and she suspected it was Yotsuba who carried her upstairs.

She walked down stairs to find herself surprised. "Fuutarou!"

He looked up from his studies and he was also surprised. "Miku! You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she said. "You stayed over?"

"Yeah, they insisted on watching a late night movie. By the time it was done, it was already too late for me to go home."

"They didn't make you sleep on the couch, did they?"

He shrugged. "They offered me your room but you were sleeping so peacefully in your bed that I didn't want to move you. I told them I didn't mind sleeping on the couch."

Miku blushed. "You watched me…sleep?"

"I mean," Fuutarou flinched. He looked away, embarrassed. "That's not what I meant, sorry. I just carried you to your room and… well, you were sleeping so peacefully…"

"You carried me? Did you almost drop me?" Miku's imagination went wild. The picture of Fuutarou carrying her bridal style vivid in her mind.

"Well, I got pretty close."

"Fuutarou!"

"I'm kidding," he laughed as Miku pouted. "How can I ever drop a girl who drools in their sleep?"

"No…I don't," she muttered softly. She wiped her mouth instinctively, even if there was nothing there. Her face was burning. Fuutarou snickered before asking her a question.

"Are you heading somewhere?"

"I'm working today at the bakery."

"Will you be back in time for our tutoring session?"

"I don't know," Miku said. "Today is a full shift for me."

Fuutarou frowned. "You've been avoiding us for a while now."

"It's not on purpose."

"Everyone is worried, you know."

"Well, tell them they shouldn't be."

"They're your sisters. They have the right to now."

"I promise I'll make up time for studying," Miku smiled. She went to the entrance and put on her shoes.

"Miku, wait!"

She felt Fuutarou roughly grab her hand. She turned around. "Yes?"

"I'm not talking about you because of grades. I…I'm, uh, worried. As a friend."

Miku giggled. "Has anyone told you how awkward you are?"

Fuutarou scowled. "Aw, come on. I'm trying my best here."

She shook off his hand and headed for the elevator. "Then let me tell you as a friend, I'll be okay."

"So you're not…right now?"

Miku smiled as the elevator closed on her. "I'll see you later, Fuutarou."

Miku was on her way to the bakery. The air was cold and Miku saw her breath condense. The white mist slowly rose and disappeared into the atmosphere. Miku heard that it might snow later. The sound of construction filled the air. Old buildings torn down for reconstruction. The buildings failed to serve their purpose, so Miku supposed that they were replaced. Afterall, nothing useless can stay in this world.

She opened the door and greeted the owner. She would have to work hard today as well.

She helped clean the place up, setting up bread on the trays. Baguettes, croissants, macaroons. Even matcha bread. The smell of butter and flour filled the room and she smiled bitterly. They were all food that she would never be able to cook.

Her shift ended early for the day. She left the bakery to see snow. Powdery sugar glided against the wind to land on her nose. The cold made her nose tingle.

Miku looked ahead, in front of the café that Nino and Fuutarou worked at. She absentmindedly walked forward, staring at the baked goods lined neatly against the windows.

Croissants? She failed at that a week ago.

Pound cake? Burned it.

Cookies? Ruined.

Custards. Tarts. Pastries.

The decoration provided a perfect list of all the failure for Miku.

She didn't want to feel the way that she did. But Miku liked to live by the rule to never waste an opportunity to criticize herself. Consider it a hobby.

Miku continued to stare at the café from the outside. Her fingers were getting numb from the cold. She felt her cheeks flush and her ears sting.

"What are you doing here?"

Miku swiveled her head to see Nino in her white uniform and an apron. She was carrying in what seemed to be a heavy sack of flour.

"Nino," Miku said, startled.

"Oh good, you're still here. Can you help me carry this?"

She helped lift the other side of the sack as they brought it inside. After placing it down, Nino breathed a sigh of relief and stretched out her arms.

"Thanks for the help. Flour can be too heavy for one person to carry." Nino glanced at Miku.

"How did- how did you know?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Miku bit her lips. "I'll buy more later."

"Yeah, whatever," Nino said. She rolled her sleeves and washed her hand. "I got a lot more work to do so I probably won't make it back for dinner." She headed over to the fridge, picking out the ingredients.

"We'll just order pizza then."

Nino looked at Miku. "You can cook to, right? You do it."

"I… Stop."

Nino frowned. "Stop what?"

"You're trying to make me feel better in your own stupid way. Stop it."

"Who said anything about-"

"I'm not like you, Nino."

She watched Nino maneuver the whisk. Every movement had a purpose. The creamy batter waved around the bowl, viscous flow that smelled of vanilla and cinnamon.

Nino scoffed. "Of course you're not. Just because we're sisters doesn't mean we have to be the same."

"No, but sometimes, I think it would be nice if we were."

"Hey now," Nino looked up, "weren't you the one saying how different we are is a good thing?"

"Yeah, that's true." Miku leaned against the wall, crouching down. She had her vision focused on the corner of the table. "I wouldn't mind being like you."

"What-"

"Good at cooking. Cute. Assertive."

"Miku… Why are you-"

"Although you can be a bit noisy."

"I'm…I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

"It's funny," Miku was resting her face on her arms, "Ichika always said how we get along like cats and dogs. And we do fight. A lot. But now that I think about it, it's probably because we're so different from each other." She turned to look at Nino, who was staring intently at her with a face Miku couldn't read. She wasn't sure what Nino was thinking. "You're everything I'm not."

Miku got up and dusted off her skirt. She should have worn something that was more suitable for the weather. She looked at Nino and smiled. "I'm heading home. Make sure you come in time so you can cook for us."

"Miku…"

"Need any company?"

The sisters turned around.

"Fuu-kun!"

"My shift just ended," Fuutarou said. "And don't forget, you still need to makeup for all the time you skipped out." He pointed his finger at Miku. "You can't avoid us forever."

"Fuutarou," Miku said hesitantly. "I…"

"That's good. You guys can head home together."

Miku turned, her face flushed read. "Nino!"

Nino turned away. "I have to work now, so it's best if you guys leave me alone."

They headed toward the exit.

"Fuu-kun."

He turned around. Miku was already outside. "Yeah?"

"Please…"

He nodded. "You got it."

Miku waited outside. "What did Nino say?"

They walked together, the sound of snow crumpling under their feet.

"Ah, it was nothing."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Fuutarou smiled. "Just Nino and her thing."

"That doesn't sound good."

Fuutarou chuckled softly.

_Please… Talk to my sister…_

"I think she just secretly cares about you in her own little way."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The snow sprinkled over the two as they were on their way home. The wind softly brushed against them and Miku could smell the clean air as it fluttered against her hair. It was dark and she saw her shadow collide with Fuutarou's from the lamppost they walked by. Her cheeks were flushed red and her hand tingled from the cold. Every breath turned into a mist that would rise and rise, just to disappear into the atmosphere.

"You know, everyone's social studies grades have been taking a hit lately."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, it's weird. It's as if they don't have someone who can properly explain it to them."

"They must have a lousy tutor then."

"Ha, ha. Very funny." Fuutarou rolled his eyes.

They walked a bit further before Miku responded.

"I'm not skipping out because I don't want to study or anything like that."

"No, you wouldn't," Fuutarou admitted. "You always did try hard. Thank you for that."

"I used to be lazy at our previous school." They walked a bit further. "But ever since you became our tutor," Miku said. "I thought…trying harder to improve wouldn't hurt."

Fuutarou glanced at Miku.

"You're not the only one who thought of that."

Miku was surprised. "Eh?"

"Well," Fuutarou said. He rubbed his bangs between his fingers. His cheeks were red. "I always thought to myself that grades were all that I needed. So I cut myself off from everyone else besides my family.

And… I realized how wrong I was. How stupid I was to think that being smart was everything."

"That sounds like a paradox."

"Over my time as your tutor, I learned so much more."

"I'm glad," Miku smiled. "For the longest time, I thought we were a burden to you."

"Oh, you guys still are."

"Fuutarou!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Fuutarou sighed and he scratched the back of his neck. "I mean, I was only in this for the paycheck. But now… well, it's not about the money anymore. I had a lot of fun tutoring you guys. And you guys are my…friends now. I mean, I guess what I'm trying to say… is thank you."

He turned to look at Miku. "Thank you for being by my side no matter how hard I made it. Your company made me a better person."

She smiled sadly. It should have made her ecstatic but she only felt a raw guilt gnaw inside of her. She felt like a fraud, taking credit on what she doesn't deserve. "Thank you… But that's not true."

Fuutarou frowned. "What?"

"You may be awkward, blunt, harsh, and weird at times-"

"That hurt."

"-but you always had the warmth and compassion. You were always amazing from the start. You may have your flaws, but doesn't take away on how much of a good person you are. I didn't do anything."

Fuutarou looked stunned.

"And I also wanted improve ever since you became our tutor. Before, I was fine with who I was. I mean, I wasn't. But I just kind of… accepted who I was because I thought there was nothing I could do about it."

Miku always thought to herself as the biggest washout. There was a reason why she was the best impersonator.

"But now, I'm trying really hard to be like my sisters because they're all so amazing… and I'm not." She felt her cheeks cold and she quickly wiped away the wet trails it left behind.

"Miku…"

"And I can't," she sobbed. "I can't be someone like Ichika. I can barely talk."

She was the lifeless doll that no one bought at the garage sale.

"I can't be assertive or useful like Nino. Even you hate my cooking."

She was the broken clock that was out of time.

"I can't be friendly or healthy like Yotsuba. I'm the slowest one in class."

An outdated CD record that played a song no one cared about.

"I can't be diligent or proper like Itsuki. I don't even know what to do with my future."

She wasn't anything special. She wasn't anything spectacular.

She was just Miku. She was just Miku Nakano.

Miku wished she could stop crying, but the crushing emotions of guilt, regret and disappointment swelled inside her. It wouldn't stop.

"And, and, and-" she sounded hysterical. She broke down further.

Miku suddenly felt an embrace around her. She could feel his heart beat against her ear. She sniffed before talking. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Thank you for being my tutor. Thank you sticking by my side even when I made it impossible for you."

"Aw, come on. At least you weren't Nino-"

"It has made me better, learning from you. And I thought to myself I would be worthy of it when I improve."

"But I can't," Miku choked. She felt the emotions surge inside her again. "I can't be who you want me to be, no matter how hard I try. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She felt the embrace around her tighter. It was warm. He was so warm. "Then…how about Miku?"

She looked up.

"If you can't be your sisters, how about being yourself?"

"You'll be disappointed."

"As if the others aren't just as disappointing."

She felt herself make a strangled laugh. Fuutarou also chuckled.

"It takes time," Fuutarou said. "It doesn't happen all at once. And it's quite ugly"

She looked up. "What are you talking about?"

"Improvement. People don't progress in a way we want it to. Maybe it's because the process of who we were meant to be is life itself."

"Sounds a little too optimistic."

He shrugged. "I like to think that our real selves are more in the future, than in the past."

Miku chewed over what he said. "What's the difference? What difference does it make to say that we become who we were meant to be?"

Fuutarou pondered. "Maybe it does because… Well, I think it's different to say that people become who they were meant to be. I think it places faith in people and the idea that it's for the better."

Miku smiled. He always had a way with words with her. "You and your strange philosophy."

She broke the hug and walked. "Come on, at this pace Nino will be home before us."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"And just like that… everything is okay now?"

"Of course it's not," Miku said. "But…"

"But?"

"No, it's nothing."

"You're still going to have to talk to your sisters, you know."

"Yeah, don't remind me."

"Hey, don't look so upset. It's because they care about you."

"If that's what you say."

"Whether or not you think you undeserved their love, they still think of you as their sister. Your unworthiness isn't going to stop them from caring…and I guess with me as well. Because…you know, I care about you to."

"…"

"Miku?"

"Seriously," Miku laughed, hiding her cheeks that were furiously red. "Someone needs to teach you how to properly talk to people."

"Huh? Don't be so-"

"It can't be helped. I think you're spewing nonsense again…but you put this idea in my head that I can be a bit better." She turned around, with her hands behind her back. She gave him a smile. "So you'd better take responsibility, okay?"

Fuutarou stood there, giving her a big grin. "Yeah," he said. "You can count on it."

They eventually made their way home to find everyone greet them.

"You're late. What were you guys doing? Even I came here before you guys!"

"Miku! I don't get this problem at all! Help me!"

There were shouting and the place hectic as ever. Fuutarou glance towards Miku to find her smiling.

"What got you smiling?"

She smiled it off as she joined her sisters. "It's nothing."

_Thank you_.

"If you say so…THAT SAID, YOU MISSED ON SO MANY TUTORING! GET READY FOR TONIGHT'S CRAMMING SESSION."

"Can we eat first?"

"I agree with Itsuki!"

"Fuutarou-kun, no need to get too excited-"

Miku laughed as she watched her family. She wasn't like them…but maybe she didn't have to.

_Thank you for accepting me._

She was Miku Nakano. And maybe, just maybe, that was okay

**That's it! Let me know how you felt about it! Were there a lot of mistakes? (yes. yes). But I really enjoyed writing this and I hoped you enjoyed reading this as well. **


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